In a very short time I have gone from the seed of an idea, to nervously pressing “publish,” to having an audience for my writing. Thank you for your vote of confidence or curiosity in this project - it means more than you know.
I don’t plan to provide context for all of the poems that I share, but starting with this poem feels like it calls for it. I often write from a place of deep emotions. This poem was written a couple of years ago and comes from a place of hurt and anger, but also from having to navigate those emotions. (Some of the emotions of the poem are the opposite of this project, which are excited and hopeful, hence, the desire to explain).
Looking back at the poem now, it also speaks simply to the fear and vulnerability of sharing my thoughts and feelings with others because of the possible impact, which results in me burying them instead. However, I have learned that while finding my voice has caused endings, it has also brought new beginnings. It has both set boundaries and opened doors. It has reimagined partnerships and friendships. Finding my voice has been both frightening and freeing. So here it is - I give you my heart space.
heart space.
I don’t have the heart space to be angry anymore,
but I don’t have the head space to be silent anymore.
Words are flowing from my fingertips
faster than the flood of feelings behind them can be processed.
I take a deep breath to try to stop
the waterfall of tears
the aching heart that holds
a depleting supply of compassion.
Because this heart will crumble trying to keep pumping
the flood of emotions pulsing through it;
the clogged arteries of empathy,
hold just enough space for one more thought, one more feeling.
But I am afraid the tissue won’t hold,
and I am afraid I won’t be able to recover
from the carnage of my words.
Oh, Sarah. This poem brought me to tears. It speaks for me and so many women. You are and always have been treasure! Love you!
Just beautiful, Sarah, just like you - both inside and out. Can’t wait to read another heart song of yours💕