Mediocre Life

week 35.

This poem was born out of my recent attempt to turn in a final project for a class I started this summer, knowing full well it was not my best work, that there were gaps in the content, but that it would also be a work in progress as I implement portions of it with my students this year.  I submitted it with the knowledge and acceptance that it would be “good enough,” something I rarely do.

It was rejected.

My final grade was held - pending revisions.

I was astounded.

I knew this wasn’t my best work and was ready to accept the grade that reflected it.  I was not ready for a written head nod with an “Mmm-mm.  Please try again.”  I mean - it makes sense.  I don’t disagree with the suggested revisions.  It just didn’t expect a redo.

I made the necessary revisions.  I passed the final project.  But I am still stuck on the rejection of my mediocrity.  Maybe I should have communicated that I am a recovering perfectionist - that average might be good for me?  That I was okay with a “C?”

Like every fall, the combination of school, dog training, training for a race, writing poems, prepping for the next day's lessons, and everyday needs like cooking, cleaning, and resting are difficult to fit into the limited twenty-four hours we have each day.  There isn’t time (for me) to do it all well.  So everyday, I get to choose where I strive for mediocre, where I strive to thrive, and where I simply let things slide.  In that process, my “no’s” have become clearer and more confident as I protect my time.  My “yeses” have become easier as I prioritize what will bring me closer to others and my values, rather than farther on a path alone.